You can choose your friends, but you can’t choose your family. If you’re born with siblings, then you’ll have a lifelong bond that can’t be broken. Just because it can’t be broken, however, doesn’t mean that it’s always going to be positive. While you might not worry about the negative aspects when you’re younger, the importance of these problems can become amplified when you’re all adults. Then, you don’t have the closeness of all living under the same roof to mend those bridges when you have a disagreement. You won’t effortlessly have those nights spent bonding to bring you closer together. As such, you need to work a little bit harder to keep your sibling relationships on the right side. But how do you do this? We take a look at a few useful tips below.
Take an Interest
Everyone’s busy living their own life. They’re trying to get ahead at work, building friendships, pursuing their hobbies and so on. And while this is an important aspect of living, it’s also a time-consuming one — and, let’s be honest, also a little bit selfish. While you can focus solely on yourself, you’ll have to accept that you’re going to lose some of the closeness you share with your family. They require work! One of the simplest ways to keep relationships friendly is to take an interest in their life. It takes no time at all to ask about their life, their work, their children, and so on, and it’ll prevent too big a gap developing between you both.
If there’s one thing that we should all keep in mind more often, it’s that none of us are perfect. Far from it! We’re all heavily flawed. But sometimes, we find it easier to accept one person’s flaws than we do others, most likely because the flaws we’re “accepting” are closer to our shortcomings. In the wider world, it’s relatively easy to avoid people with whom you have ideological and lifestyle differences. This is not the case with your siblings! If you’re going to keep things civil as you grow older — a period when your personality differences become more obvious — then you’ll need to accept that they are just who they are. Much good can come from having an attitude of acceptance, in all areas of your life.
Heal the Past
Everyone’s got a past. There are scars, some mild, some large, all over the body. No-one makes it to adulthood without having some issues with their loved ones. Perhaps your older brother picked on you when you were younger, or your younger sister always got preferential treatment. These grievances can follow us around — we carry the weight on our shoulders. It’s worthwhile keeping in mind that all of these things are all in the past, however. They can’t be changed, and by carrying them with you, all you’re doing is keeping them alive. Let them go, and you’ll find it much easier to develop positive relationships with your loved ones.
Life is complicated. This is something that we all come to understand, sooner or later. Even if our relationships seem to be running smoothly, it’s always possible that something will come along and derail them. All too often, problems can arise from conflicts surrounding money, especially when it comes to a will, which is the single obvious financial connector between siblings. If siblings are left to figure out a will amongst themselves, it’s likely that, in an emotionally tense moment, hurtful comments will be aired. Instead, it’s best to make the matter of a will a legal matter, not an emotional matter. By visiting DaveBurnsLaw.com, you’ll be able to fight your corner without getting into an emotional slinging match. Don’t let the love you have for your siblings be compromised because of financial reasons!
Stop the Comparison
We can build some pretty convincing narratives in our head, but that doesn’t mean that they’re true. People find themselves at different times in their lives. Sometimes, one person is on top of the world while another is just trying trudging along. A year later, the reverse is true. While it’s normal to feel a hint of jealousy, it shouldn’t be all-consuming — and it also shouldn’t have a negative impact on the quality of your relationship. The best path to take is one that avoids comparison altogether. Unless you think you’re completely secure with who you are and where you’re going, it’ll only bring some trouble!
When you were children, you’d spend a lot of quality time with your siblings, even if you didn’t fully realize at the time that that’s what you were doing. When you’re adults, quality time can be hard to come by. Instead of just relying on the occasional phone call or text message to keep the lines of communication open, why not look at making a trip together? You don’t need to go overboard and plan a three week trip. A simple day out will be enough.
Avoid Stressful Moments
People are usually advised to spend time with their families during the holidays. However, it’s possible that this isn’t always the best advice. Periods like Christmas and Thanksgiving were, perhaps, once all-out, positive family-affairs, but these days they seem to be pretty stressful. Instead, might it be a better option not to force yourself to attend events out of duty, but instead wait until you’re in a good space, and feel like it. It might not be a popular option with your loved ones, but if your seasonal get-togethers always seem to end in an argument, then it might be the sensible option.
Ultimately, it’s worth keeping in mind that of all the people in the world, it’s with your siblings that you have the closest bond. They can be annoying, selfish, and so on, but you’ll want to find ways to focus on the positive aspects of these relationships. Managed properly, they can be a gift that keeps on giving throughout your life.