The toughest thing for any parent that has gone through the separation process is helping the children. You need to give them the help they need in all aspects of their lives but when you go through the separation process, there can be this tug-of-war that goes on. This is why you need to make sure that you divide the duties appropriately. So how do you do this right?
Know Your Rights First
As much as you want to spend all of the time with your children, it’s important to understand the legalities. An unmarried father’s rights are much more different from a married one, so make sure you have an understanding of your legal rights based on where you are. Rather than giving an impassioned speech in the lawyer’s office, if you go into the separation process having an understanding of what you are legally entitled to, it will save a lot of stress.
Draw Up a Sensible Plan
When couples are separating, the temptation to fight for complete custody of their children is a common one. Understandably, parents are angry, and when the divorce process goes ahead, many parents feel that they should get more custody or responsibility. The fact is that there are two parents in the equation, so make sure that you draw up a sensible plan when it comes to the duties. It’s not an easy thing, but you have to understand that being a single parent is a far more difficult part of life than when there are two of you. Your duties are instantly doubled and this is why it makes sense for the sake of both of you to have a sensible plan.
Work According to Your Children
It’s one of those things that we hear so much about divorces, that the children end up being piggy in the middle. But it’s important to remember that your children are the priority, and therefore you should be putting them first in all of your decisions. In one respect, the duties can be very simple in terms of their daily timetable. They are in school most of the day, so, therefore, you have the evening to sort between the two of you. When it comes to weekends, a very common solution is to have alternating weekends.
Ensure You Are Both in Agreement Before You Make It Official
Dividing the duties doing separation is not easy, but you have to make sure you are both in agreement and try to make it official. During separation or divorce, we can be hasty and not act with our children’s interests because we are so hurt. You’ve got to be practical and pragmatic and put your feelings to one side because your children are the most important piece of the puzzle here. When it comes to the duties, you’ve got to recognise if the children are going to benefit from your plan of action, but also make sure that you and your ex-spouse are physically able to conduct co-parenting in a way that benefits everyone.
